In case anyone out there is still following this blog, I'm back, and I'll just give a brief explanation of my absence. The day after my last post, The Backyard Groom and I found out during a midnight trip to the emergency vet clinic that our cat had cancer. Nine days later, she died. I'm absolutely heartbroken, and I miss her every minute.
I haven't felt much like wedding planning or blogging since, but a recent Facebook notification has inspired a bit of a rant. Let me start off by saying that I'm not big on Facebook, especially now that I'm planning a small wedding. Sure, like everyone else, I have "reconnected" (I put that in quotes because in most cases the reconnection is purely virtual and devoid of actual interaction) with many old friends and acquaintances. But as a particularly private person (hence the anonymous blogging), I don't list many of my personal details or give status updates or anything of the sort. My profile is pretty bare aside from the requisite photo, work/school info, email address and relationship status. That last one? Therein lies the rub.
As soon as I changed my status from "in a relationship" to "engaged", people I haven't spoken to (virtually or otherwise) in years offered their congratulations (nice!) and demanded an invite (not so nice!). The guest list has already given me some guilt because we've limited it to our 20 nearest and dearest, but these Facebook invite requests are throwing me off my game. Even on Facebook, some level of etiquette still applies, right? And yet people have hunted me down and hounded me about letting them know the date ASAP.
On the flip side, I've seen dozens of photos from weddings I wasn't invited to. Honestly, it hasn't affected me at all, but I can see how it might hurt others who thought they were VIPs (or at least IPs) in the bride or groom's life. Pre-Facebook, you could get away with that guest list omission. Now you can't.
So what's the solution? Do you avoid Facebook entirely for fear of invite hounds? And keep wedding photos and updates off your profile to keep feelings from being hurt?
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