Registration Temptation

The Backyard Groom and I didn't plan on having a registry. We've lived together for a couple years now, and we each lived on our own for a couple years before that. We've got everything we need basically. Sure, we'd take better pans or a fancy vacuum if someone handed them to us, but we get by pretty well on the stuff we have.

I think registering for towels and cookery and such was necessary back in the day, when most couples didn't live together or even on their own before marriage, and I guess that practice has just continued out of tradition. But in all honesty, we both find registries kind of dull, and we often wonder if the bride and groom really get excited about receiving housewares. Maybe they do. Maybe we're weird for not. (Actually that second one is a distinct possibility.)

Another factor in our decision not to have a registry was the fact that a good chunk of the guests attending The Backyard Wedding will be coming from out of town. If they're already spending money on gas, plane fare or hotel rooms, I really don't want them to feel obligated to bring a gift too.

So having no registry was the plan. If people showed up with gifts, well, we certainly wouldn't throw them back in their faces. Non-Bridesmaid R. said we were taking the Lloyd Dobler approach to registering.

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For those of you unversed in the philosophies of Lloyd Dobler (iconically pictured above), that basically means that by having no expectations, any gifts that come along will be a pleasant surprise.

So that was the plan.

The only hitch in our non-registry giddy-up was when people started asking where we were registered. Did this mean these people actually wanted to buy us gifts? Would we let them go it alone or should we offer them guidance? And if we did offer them guidance, what could we guide them to instead of crockpots and hand towels?

Enter the honeymoon registry.

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Honeymoon registries are a pretty controversial topic on wedding message boards. You'll see just as many people decry them as tacky blemishes on a wedding as you will see people singing their praises. I'm still pretty torn on the whole thing myself. On the one hand, it seems like an obvious plea for money. But on the other hand, money is what makes those gift-wrapped hand towels appear at your wedding.

We do want to go on a nice honeymoon, and we're fully prepared to pay for the entire thing ourselves. But through sites like Honeyfund.com and TravelersJoy.com, guests can buy you specific add-ons, like dinner at a famous local restaurant or a snorkeling excursion or a massage or even transport to the airport. When setting up the registry, you pick the amount and the activity, offering guests a variety of price points to choose from. So in a way, they are still getting you a gift, but just not one that you'll be whipping up casseroles in.

What do you, whether you are a bride or a wedding guest, think about honeymoon registries? Should we do it?