Un Repondez S'il Vous Plait Vert et Bon Marche

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Did I impress you with my rusty college French? I'm pretty sure it's wrong so don't be too impressed.

For non-Francophones, I'm talking about our RSVPs, which I hope will be both green (toward the planet, not in color) and cheap. However, I've noticed throughout this wedding planning process that there is another factor that overrides both budget and environmental concerns. That factor? Etiquette. Sadly, I feel like many members of our generation, including me, are uneducated when it comes to basic etiquette. Blame e-mail. And the Internet. It just makes things too easy and cheap for us, to the point where snail mail seems both inefficient and expensive.

Right now, Non-Bridesmaid C is pulling double duty as a member of my non-bridal party and as a friendor designing our invitations. The designs she's come up with have been AWESOME so I can't wait to see the final product.

One of the things I've got to figure out before that product can become final is how our guests will RSVP for The Backyard Wedding. There are many different options:

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The option that makes most sense to me is e-mail. All of our guests are proficient in e-mail. It's free. It doesn't kill any trees. I won't have to worry about additional postage or anything getting lost in the mail. Plus it opens the lines of communication, in case our guests need help with hotel accommodations or have any other questions about our non-traditional nuptials.

But would Emily Post approve? This is what concerns me.

What do you think about e-mail RSVPs? Tacky or trendy?

The Backyard Groom's Inspiration

Meet The Backyard Groom's biggest inspiration:

I should probably clarify that I mean his wedding day style inspiration and not his marriage inspiration, since Don Draper clearly doesn't pay too much heed to those pesky marriage vows.

We love "Mad Men," not just because it's arguably the best show on television right now, but also because the cast is definitely the best dressed. When you can get even The Backyard Groom to comment on the style of the characters, you know it's good.

In fact, I love the look of the show's characters so much that instead of the ever-popular post-wedding chop, I've been considering coloring my blonde hair Joan Holloway-red.

But back to The Backyard Groom. We knew that a tux wouldn't feel right for The Backyard Wedding, so we have been planning on a suit. Although the search hasn't begun in earnest, The Backyard Groom has commented several times that he wants a suit like the kind Don Draper wears: fitted, skinny lapels, skinny tie, even the pocket square. Check out the full effect below:

He's not sure if he wants Don's favored charcoal gray or a more traditional black suit. But if we were having a daytime wedding, he would definitely want Don's commuting accessory, the fedora.

Anyone out there have any luck finding a suit in this style?

Bridal Boogie Shoes

I showed you my red hot shoes I'd like to pair with my wedding dress. As much as I love them, I'm doubtful that I'll be able to handle dancing much in them, especially on the flagstone patio that will serve as our makeshift dance floor. I haven't yet decided if I'll chuck them after the ceremony and photos or else try to persevere until the pain gets to be too much. (The things we girls do to look good...)

Whenever I do change out of them, I'll need something comfortable to put on. Brides in flip flops have become more and more common, but I'm not sure I want to go that route, both for fear of getting stepped on and also because it may actually, shockingly be relatively cold in Texas by November.

So I'm sort of toying with the idea of changing into the most expensive shoes I own. No, they're not Louboutins or Manolos. They're my Lucchese cowboy boots.

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I love my cowboy boots, but before you get the wrong idea about me, let me clarify that I'm not really the typical Texan cowboy boot wearer. I don't know how to do the "Electric Slide" and neither "Boot Scootin' Boogie" nor any other country song will appear on our wedding playlist. So my musical tastes don't exactly align with my footwear tastes.

Knowing that I won't be two-stepping, do you still think I can pull off the boots and bridal couture look? Or should I opt for something more traditional, like a nice pair of ballet flats? Come to think of it, I do have a cute red pair...

Registration Temptation

The Backyard Groom and I didn't plan on having a registry. We've lived together for a couple years now, and we each lived on our own for a couple years before that. We've got everything we need basically. Sure, we'd take better pans or a fancy vacuum if someone handed them to us, but we get by pretty well on the stuff we have.

I think registering for towels and cookery and such was necessary back in the day, when most couples didn't live together or even on their own before marriage, and I guess that practice has just continued out of tradition. But in all honesty, we both find registries kind of dull, and we often wonder if the bride and groom really get excited about receiving housewares. Maybe they do. Maybe we're weird for not. (Actually that second one is a distinct possibility.)

Another factor in our decision not to have a registry was the fact that a good chunk of the guests attending The Backyard Wedding will be coming from out of town. If they're already spending money on gas, plane fare or hotel rooms, I really don't want them to feel obligated to bring a gift too.

So having no registry was the plan. If people showed up with gifts, well, we certainly wouldn't throw them back in their faces. Non-Bridesmaid R. said we were taking the Lloyd Dobler approach to registering.

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For those of you unversed in the philosophies of Lloyd Dobler (iconically pictured above), that basically means that by having no expectations, any gifts that come along will be a pleasant surprise.

So that was the plan.

The only hitch in our non-registry giddy-up was when people started asking where we were registered. Did this mean these people actually wanted to buy us gifts? Would we let them go it alone or should we offer them guidance? And if we did offer them guidance, what could we guide them to instead of crockpots and hand towels?

Enter the honeymoon registry.

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Honeymoon registries are a pretty controversial topic on wedding message boards. You'll see just as many people decry them as tacky blemishes on a wedding as you will see people singing their praises. I'm still pretty torn on the whole thing myself. On the one hand, it seems like an obvious plea for money. But on the other hand, money is what makes those gift-wrapped hand towels appear at your wedding.

We do want to go on a nice honeymoon, and we're fully prepared to pay for the entire thing ourselves. But through sites like Honeyfund.com and TravelersJoy.com, guests can buy you specific add-ons, like dinner at a famous local restaurant or a snorkeling excursion or a massage or even transport to the airport. When setting up the registry, you pick the amount and the activity, offering guests a variety of price points to choose from. So in a way, they are still getting you a gift, but just not one that you'll be whipping up casseroles in.

What do you, whether you are a bride or a wedding guest, think about honeymoon registries? Should we do it?

The horror!

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I hope I'm not the only bride going through this, but I've had recurring nightmares lately about the wedding. They all have the same basic premise: I wake up, I realize it's the day of our wedding and then panic when I remember that we haven't finished planning and are missing crucial elements. Like the groom, who had to be out of town for work. Or the ceremony, because I never wrote it. Or my dress, because the seamstress never finished the alterations. All key things. Hence the panic.

With less than 100 days to go, the finish line of this wedding planning thing is actually looming on the horizon. It's both terribly exciting and a little bit stressful. Even with our short engagement, we've been in somewhat of a holding period because the wedding seemed months and months away, and we kept telling ourselves that everything could be put off until closer to time. Well, we're closer to time now, and the calendar says it's time for us to get busy. We still have several important wedding components to check off before the big day.

Who knew a wedding planning wake-up call could be so scary? Have you had any wedding related nightmares?

Waaaaay More Than 27 Dresses

This past weekend I visited The Backyard Mom and Dad with the sole mission of dress shopping. Well, The Backyard Dad didn't plan on doing any dress shopping, but after hours and hours of fitting rooms and dresses, my mom and I begged him to accompany us to Macy's at 9 on Saturday night to help us with a crucial decision. And by the time the store closed, my mom had finally bought the perfect dress for The Backyard Wedding.

Isn't she one hot Backyard Mom? She also found the perfect shoes (backyard-friendly silver wedges!) to go with the perfect dress, but they had to be shipped from a different store, so that's why the photo purposely omits her feet.

I also emerged from the weekend with the perfect dress. Presenting The Backyard Wedding Dress:

Ha! Since The Backyard Groom (infrequently) reads this blog, I couldn't risk posting a photo of the actual dress. As you can tell from its temporary home, it came from Alfred Angelo, and despite being everything I thought I didn't want (strapless and beaded), it makes me swoon and feel unbelievably bridey. I tried taking a close-up photo of it that wouldn't show off the actual dress, but I couldn't get my camera to focus because of all the lovely light-reflecting beads.

I also purchased a veil and a bustier (also known as a longline bra) to go underneath it. Can I just say that bustiers are awesome? They hoist the good parts up and keep the rest locked up tight. I kind of want to wear it everyday.

My visit also gave me a chance to finally meet my cake topper face to face. Look at this dapper couple:

I can't wait to see them on the cake on the big day, but I know they won't be outshining my mom and me in our two beautiful dresses.

How long did it take your mom to find the perfect dress?

Adventures in Man Jewelry: Episode III

We have a winner! Here in all its glory is The Backyard Groom's wedding band:

Yay! Can I just say how deliriously girlishly happy I was to see that ring on his finger? There may have been squealing and giggles involved.

Anyway, for those of you have been following Adventures in Man Jewelry since Episodes I and II, he ended up liking the style of one of the original three Titanium rings we ordered from Amazon, but we couldn't get the size quite right until the lucky third try.

Even though I didn't get refunds on the shipping charges for the rings I had to return, the final ring's bargain price of $45.99 still makes me smile.

Did you go with titanium or tungsten or stick with a more traditional style?